


Wishes Under the Stars

by uesakahatsue



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anime, Drama, Drama & Romance, Heavy Angst, I'm so sorry for writing this, Loneliness, M/M, Romance, Sad, Sad Ending, Third Gym (Haikyuu!!), bokuakakurotsuki, butler!bokuto, inspired by baby pink barney boxers, secretary!tsukishima
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:02:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29197308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uesakahatsue/pseuds/uesakahatsue
Summary: He wanted to hug Bokuto as tight as he could. He wanted to kiss Bokuto as long as he could. He wanted to tell Bokuto how much he loves him, and how sorry he was for abandoning him. But today, he realized once again— they were fated to meet each other, but not to end up together.Bokuto Koutarou is Akaashi Keiji's personal butler— and aside from that,they weren't allowed to take one step further.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, mentions of kurotsukki - Relationship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 9





	Wishes Under the Stars

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: If any of these words aren't your cup of tea, please, don't continue! I don't want to make you uncomfortable.
> 
> boys' love, shipping, bed scenes (it is in the middle part of the story, but it is short and skippable)
> 
> Thank you so much! Enjoy the rest of my work! ♡

**_Akaashi was 18 that time._ **

  


"Good morning, _Akaashi-sama,_ " His father's secretary pulled the blinds up, revealing the sky tinted in baby blue, blessed by the morning sun. As soon as he opened the window, Akaashi could hear the birds chirping outside. "I heard that you slept outside again last night. The garden is inhabited by bugs, and your skin wouldn't like it, so please avoid dozing off there."

  


" _Tsukishima,_ " Still dizzy, hair messy, Akaashi rose, still in a daze as he adjusts his vision with the sudden brightness of his room. A blurry figure of a person was standing in front of the window, holding a tablet on his arm. "Why are you here?"

  


It was pretty unusual for the blonde secretary to go personally to the heir's room and do his morning routine. Not to mention, Akaashi's father lives in the main mansion, while his only son is residing in one of their summer houses. Usually, it is the task for the maids, but it looks like that isn't the case today. Swiping through his tablet using his stylus, Tsukishima scanned the rest of the screen through his glasses, before looking at Akaashi. "I was tasked by your father to inform you about your first butler's arrival next month."

  


"He hired a butler for _me?_ " A suspicious tone is audible in Akaashi's voice. "Do you know why?"

  


"It seems like he was planning to watch over you a little bit more," Tsukishima is Akaashi's friend, therefore he tells him everything he knows to ensure his friend's safety. "Be careful. He might be planning something."

  


"It doesn't matter if he is plotting something or not," The black-haired young man kicked off the blankets off his feet, proceeding to the open window. There lies the garden, calming his senses down. "I'm his son, and a son should follow the father, no matter what."

  


Tsukishima thought, it must've been hard to be a puppet, but he didn't let it out. Slightly raising his glasses by fixing its frame in place, Tsukishima bowed. "Then, I'll be going. Have a nice day, Akaashi-sama."

  


The secretary turned his back around, hiding his worried gaze at Akaashi. A year ago, Akaashi was nothing like he is now. A normal boy who is capable of smiling, a man who knows perfectly how to express himself. But being at the age of 18, Akaashi's father made him realize the responsibility that his surname brings. **Akaashi Keiji has to be perfect, flawless, impeccable.** That is the only Akaashi that his father would heartily accept.

  


  


Before Tsukishima could even step out of his room, Akaashi spoke up, calling him. "Tsukishima."

  


"... what is it?"

  


"There's some strawberry cheesecake stored on the fifth layer of the fridge. I don't have the appetite to eat sweets, so you can take it."

  


Tsukishima looked back at him and was mesmerized by the sight. With the whole garden and sky as his background, the wind flew gently between Akaashi's unkempt hair strands, as the gentleman glanced at the former with a small smile on his lips.

  


"As you wish, Akaashi-sama," Tsukishima mentally erased the thought that he had earlier— the Akaashi before is still there. It was just _hidden_ , behind multiple layers of façade and lies. "Then, I'll take the dessert off the refrigerator for you."

  


  


***

  


  


10:30 AM. Akaashi's left eyebrow raised as he walked back and forth across his large room. He already ate breakfast, took a bath, and everything, but the butler was still nowhere to be found.

  


"30 minutes late," Akaashi murmured as he glances at his watch. "Seems like I have to fix that."

  


Tsukishima emailed him the butler's resume, but he refuses to take a look at it. It is his first butler, after all. A little thrill and excitement won't hurt him. His expectations weren't high, but he hopes he would at least get someone who's smart, like Tsukishima. Well, it's not like Akaashi needs a butler— after all, he can handle himself. But the thought of having someone else to talk to besides himself isn't something that he have experienced before. Not even Tsukishima, his very close friend since middle school, is allowed to make casual conversations with him. This is his world, his life— a prison.

  


"Akaashi-sama? Your butler had arrived."

  


_Finally._ Taking nothing but the printed documents of his butler, Akaashi walked out of his room, following the red carpet lined over the marbled floor, leading himself to the lobby, where all of the maids, guards, chauffeurs, bodyguards, and chefs were anticipating to be blessed by his mere presence. The young gentleman, wearing his suit to welcome the new employee, raised his hand as a greeting, as everyone bowed at him.

  


"Good morning, Akaashi-sama. May we wish for your abundant happiness and prosperity."

  


"Where is the guy?"

  


"Ah... he's already here, but..."

  


"But?"

  


"Well... y-you see..."

  


"Move aside."

  


"A-as you wish, Akaashi-sama."

  


As the employees step aside, a chaotic little scene was unraveled behind. His driver and a stranger were fighting on the carpet- the former trying to take the latter's suit off, from which, of course, the latter defended himself by pulling the driver's hair away from him. It was a weird scene, he doesn't know what to respond in this situation.

  


"You wore the slacks backward! And also, your zipper is open!"

  


"It is intentional! I want Mr. Akaashi's son to see my _baby pink Barney boxer!_ "

  


"Even Barney wouldn't like the view! Please, Akaashi-sama's on his way here, so—"

  


"Konoha," Akaashi called the driver who was fixing the butler's tie. He was currently facing the other way, but even Akaashi could tell that his butler is... _not normal._ The over-gelled complicated hairstyle concluded it for him, and as Konoha said, he was wearing his slacks backwards, as if it was his first time to try them on— they weren't sure if it was on-purpose, or the guy is just that stupid, if not deprived of the feeling of suits and tuxedos.

  


"A-Akaashi-sama," The driver, hence named Konoha, tried to hide the newbie butler's face from Akaashi's sight, but it was hopeless since the guy was too tall, and his presence is bigger than Akaashi himself. "I'm sorry. You're not supposed to see any of this improper—"

  


"It's okay. Hey, you," Akaashi called the man, which he confirmed as his first-ever butler. "I have a lot of things to ask you, but first, tell me your name and the reason why you're late."

  


"Hmm?" The butler hummed, before turning around. "Who are you?"

  


_Obnoxious hairstyle. Nice build. Vibrant golden eyes. Looks stupid._ That's what Akaashi thought as soon as he saw the guy. His grayish hair was gelled upwards, revealing his black roots, which is probably his real hair color. But the brightest part of him isn't his hair— it was his golden wide eyes, which widened when he saw Akaashi standing before him. _Pretty._

  


"... Konoha, fix him first."

  


"R-roger," As Konoha pulled the man's hair back down, Akaashi pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "What is Father thinking—"

  


"Hey, you there! Do you think Mr. Akaashi's son would like my baby pink Barney boxers?"

  


"Pardon?" Akaashi glanced at the guy, who was smiling sheepishly as he wore his slacks in the right way, in front of Akaashi and all the employees living in his house. Bokuto repeated the question one more time, and Akaashi's jaw slightly fell down, speechless. The man, who was clueless about everything, just blinked thrice rapidly, slightly tilting his head sidewards.

  


_...t-this... this is really my first butler?_

  


  


"Idiot! That's Akaashi-sama!"

  


"Ah, you're the son!" As bright as the skies outside, the man stepped forward and took both of Akaashi's hands to his palms, shaking them vigorously after buckling his belt on. "I'm _Bokuto!_ _Bokuto Koutarou!_ Nice to meet you, Akaashi!"

  


Akaashi is the son of one of the most important people in Japan, who was promised hundreds and hundreds of his father's hard-earned properties. Unnecessary to point out, respect is a must in addressing Akaashi's name. Such carelessness may or may not lead to losing your job, the sole reason why everyone almost strangled Bokuto when they heard him addressing Akaashi without honorifics.

  


"IT'S AKAASHI-SAMA! SAMA!"

  


"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"

  


"Ah, it's no use... I can already see how many days he has left..."

  


"Calm down," Akaashi muttered over the chaos. "It's not like he was pointing a rifle at me."

  


"But..."

  


"He's working directly under me. I'll discipline him on the way I see fit," A pair of sharp eyes roamed across the wide lobby, immobilizing everyone. It is Akaashi Keiji, after all. "Unless... _you don't trust my judgment_?"

  


"I-it's not like that, Akaashi-sama."

  


"Then, leave, and prepare for lunch."

  


"ROGER!"

  


  


As the maids and chefs starting scattering around the house, Akaashi looked at Bokuto from head to toe. "Now, what should I do with _you?_ "

  


The latter offered him a childish salute, which Akaashi find ridiculous. "I'm pretty sure my father didn't hire you to play around. Why were you late earlier?"

  


By slighting raising his chin and looking down at his subordinate, Akaashi made sure that the gap between them is acknowledged. A subtle, nasty way of saying ' _I'm your boss_ '. Bokuto might be dumb, but he is not insensitive enough to not notice the suddenly tense atmosphere between them. With a short second that he has, he reminisced everything that he has done since he set foot inside the house, trying to remember if he did anything to anger his boss. He squinted, blinked, closed his eyes... nothing came into mind.

  


"A-are you angry?" Teary-eyed, Bokuto looked at Akaashi, like how would a puppy come to his owner if it felt lonely. "I was already at the gate since 6 AM. B-but... but nobody told me that this place is huge, s-so... I thought I would wander for a bit while I'm waiting for the guards to notice me..."

  


"So technically, you got lost inside?"

  


Bokuto immediately nodded in response, resulting in Akaashi sighing once again. He was expecting a perfect, intelligent, professional butler, but maybe he was getting too ahead of himself. _Should I fire him now?_ But he halted the thought in his head, for he envisioned Bokuto as his father's challenge to him: _If you think you can lead, then try to supervise any kind of person_. Therefore, he couldn't fire Bokuto, since it was a chance to prove himself to his father, who never, _never,_ trusted him.

  


Opening his phone, Akaashi immediately headed to his e-mails, opening the document that Tsukishima sent him, containing Bokuto's resume. _Bokuto Koutarou, 19, a graduate from Fukurodani Academy. No job experiences aside from helping out his mother in a ramen shop. Aside from his mother and deceased father, he was born after two sisters who were in college. Note: In the interview, when asked why he doesn't want to study college, he said that it's not for him._ "So it is your first time? Very well. Come with me. 

  


Akaashi turned around first, heading to the west wing of the house, while Bokuto followed him behind. "In this house, we already have a house manager, so I think Father hired you to be my personal butler. A butler's job consists of welcoming the guest, making sure that I won't have any problems regarding the house, the list goes on— but the job varies depending on the employer. I'm sure you already read it in the contract, but if you don't mind, I would ask my father's secretary to print my own list of daily tasks for you, so make sure to read it before you officially start tomorrow. Is that clear?"

  


"Crystal!" Bokuto stopped walking for a moment to salute once again, while Akaashi just gave him a side-eye glance before walking again. In Bokuto's head, this is like an army, and Akaashi was the sergeant. He's in his little roleplaying world as Akaashi continues to discuss Bokuto's duties and responsibilities. But a thought did come across Bokuto's head: _But hey, no one told me that the son is very pretty!_ After all, who wouldn't fall for the sight of Akaashi Keiji, walking as his left arm stays in the back, while his right arm reads the document?

  


"Did my father tell you anything aside from what I've just said?" Akaashi's eyelashes adorned his lids half-closed as he turns around, almost bumping into Bokuto. "For example, something like putting a tracking device on my clothes?"

  


"Hmm? I didn't listen to what you're saying earlier, but..." Akaashi sighed once more as if he already expected this coming. "Your father told me to have fun with you!"

  


Akaashi raised his left eyebrow as his forehead scrunched in confusion. He thought that he heard it wrong, but given that he's not in a fantasy novel, then he must've heard the right thing. _That old man? That old man hiring someone so I could have fun? Impossible... Very, very, impossible._

  


But... ~~_he was hoping_~~.

  


He was hoping that, at least, his father genuinely hired Bokuto because he cares for his son. That thought made Akaashi's heart jump a little bit with joy, a little hope deep inside that his father actually watches over him. As he slides a door open, a little smile was plastered on his lips, currently in a good mood.

  


"Here's your room." Revealing the huge space behind the sculpted door specially made for this house from France, Bokuto's jaw dropped as he roams around inside, removing his shoes to jump on the bed as Akaashi just watched him go wild. The large space, the entire floor covered in red carpet, the corner of the ceiling embellished in gold accents, the white and gold furnitures to match the motif— even Bokuto felt embarassed to sit on the king-sized bed with his fifty-dollar suit.

  


"Hey, is this really mine?" Eyes glimmering in amusement, Bokuto faced Akaashi, obviously overwhelmed. "Is this a dream?"

  


"Do you want me to smack you to confirm it?" Akaashi stepped inside the room, heading towards the windows to open it. "When I first moved here, I thought that the rooms were too big. If you have the same thoughts, feel free to tell me."

  


"It would be a crime to complain about this— what are you doing, Akaashi?"

  


"S...shut up," Lifting the balls of his feet to reach his highest point, Akaashi tried to reach the knob for the ridiculously large windows, but unfortunately, it was made to be opened by taller-than-average people like Tsukishima. "It's really stuffy here. Open i—"

  


**"Ah, I'll open it."**

  


  


All of a sudden, Akaashi saw Bokuto's right arm on his right side, hand pressed on the wall as he tiptoed to reach the knob, unaware that he's trapping Akaashi within his biceps. Akaashi could smell the strong and musky scent stamped on Bokuto's suit, and if he'll be honest, he never liked strong scents; but with Bokuto, it just seemed to fit the man so well that the picky ~~self-proclaimed~~ scent connoisseur Akaashi felt relaxed. With Bokuto's large build that he gained from being an athlete in high school, Akaashi looked like a noblewoman standing between Bokuto's arms, as if he was made to fit there.

  


"There!" Opening the windows with full force, the wind greeted them good morning as it blew against them, messing around with the white lace curtains. Akaashi lifted his chin a bit, looking at Bokuto's face, who was amazed by the view of the garden outside the window, the same view that Akaashi could see from his window whenever the maids open it for him every morning. He couldn't help but admit that the way that the pond's colors reflected on Bokuto's goldish eyes was more than spectacular— the colors were clear and vibrant on Bokuto's eyes. The garden that looked like any other garden before suddenly looked magical on Bokuto's eyes, almost whimsical as the guy point out every tree he sees within the vicinity. Akaashi sighed as he places his arms on the windowpane, resting his cheek on his right arm as he listens to Bokuto's voice.

  


It was _bizarre_. They just met, but Akaashi felt so comfortable, so warm— _as if he was in his mother's arms_. They weren't even together for an hour, but at that moment, Akaashi smiled as he returns his gaze to the garden. No, it isn't romance. No, he didn't fall in love that fast. It's just that... he's too lonely, that any kind of human interaction was lovely for him. At the state Akaashi's in right now, any casual talks with anyone was memorable. Any eye contacts were worth tkaing note for. Every skin contact with anyone makes him happy. No, Akaashi isn't a hopeless romantic— _he is just lonely_. For Akaashi, Bokuto Koutarou is exactly that person: a person that he could call _home._

  


_Maybe Father just really wants me to enjoy life. Maybe I am taking it too seriously. Maybe he sent this guy so that I won't feel lonely. Maybe... maybe._

  


  


"Hey," Bokuto spoke up all of a sudden, after taking a couple of minutes babbling nonsense about the garden. Akaashi didn't understand most of it— he just pretended like he's listening as Bokuto ranted about the people who's not taking care about the environment.

  


"Hmm?"

  


The shine on Bokuto's eyes went full circle as he looks at Akaashi Keiji, who had to lift his chin to look at him. Bokuto is a very simple man, with a very simple train of thought. As soon as he saw the dull shade of blue hiding behind Akaashi's tired eyelids and his long eyelashes, the way the ends of his short hair was scattered all around but it never made Akaashi look less handsome, Bokuto thought once again: ' _He's really pretty_ '. Akaashi is the definition of perfection itself: when it comes to visuals, no one could hold a candle against him. The elegance, the sophistication, the grace... if Bokuto was a little bit richer, he would probably court Akaashi as soon as he saw him.

  


  


The two of them had entirely different thoughts, but when they stood away from each other, they both reached the same conclusion.

  


_I want to talk with him._

_  
_

_Know him more._

_  
_

_**I want to take one step away from being just strangers.** _

  


With that in mind, both of them fell pretty silent, 'til Akaashi had to excuse himself to do something important, leaving Bokuto all by himself in his room.

  


**That was the first encounter... between the star and his world.**

  


  


***

  


  


The second encounter happened rather soon, at Bokuto's first night under Akaashi Keiji's roof. Texting a few friends about his work, Bokuto laid down on his bed, looking at the high ceiling on top of him, adorned with golden chandeliers. The floor is covered in red carpet with gold accents, and he enjoyed rubbing his feet on it, exclaiming how fluffy it is. He kept doing it for hours, but later he got bored again, searching around the room to find some things to do.

  


Akaashi didn't give any particular orders when he left— he just told him to rest, which isn't the word that you'd typically match with Bokuto. That's why, the man was very uneasy, roaming around his room and exploring it for hours. Flipping every single paintings hung on the wall and checking the inside of the vases decored around the room. He even tried to lift the carpet to check for a trasure map, but he didn't find any. He laid down on his bed again, realizing that he had nothing to do.

  


What exactly did he want to do in his life? Bokuto asked himself the question many times, but he just can't seem to answer it. The job was introduced to him by Tsukishima, who feels somehow indebted to Bokuto because he helped him in a car accident. Bokuto accepted the offer, but it's not like he wants money, and he isn't in need to experience either ~~although he should really worry about it, as a man entering his twenties~~. So _why_? Why did he apply for a job that's clearly not for him?

  


Bokuto couldn't answer it, because he doesn't want to admit it: that he's bored. He doesn't look forward to anything in life except from reaching a hundred years old. Growing to a household filled with girls, his childhood life is a happy one. Being one of the top five aces in volleyball in hish school, his school days aren't quiet. But aside from those things, even if Bokuto was happy, he isn't _interesting_. He felt bad for people who didn't grow up in a well-loved environment like him, and he felt guilty for not being satisfied with his life, but for Bokuto, not everything that you enjoy is something that you could look forward in the future. Even if you love things, tomorrow you can hate them. Even if you are loved, tomorrow you could be hated. Even if you're happy, tomorrow you could be sad. A person's life is a wavelength— fortunes are followed with misfortunes. Happiness is followed by loneliness. Relief is followed by pain. In this world, that is considered as motionless— a static, neutral luck in life. You weren't unlucky, but you weren't very lucky either. A total average. A motionless, directionless life that was led by an outgoing individual like him was _boring. Painful. Unenthusiastic._ Unlike his cheerful personality, Bokuto Koutarou led a dull life.

  


He was hoping... that by applying as a butler of a ridiculously rich man's only son, _something would change._

  


  


After spending half an hour in contemplating his value in life, Bokuto stood up, heading towards the bathroom. "Woah, even the toilet is automatic!"

  


Sinking his hair on a clogged sink full of water, he closed his eyes as he felt the faucet pouring water over his head. After washing it off, he remembered the garden that was right outside of his window. "Hopefully, there aren't that many bugs..."

  


But being the usual dense guy that he is, Bokuto forgot to ask for a map earlier, and even if he did, he is ridiculously clueless when it comes to directions. Even Konoha, the driver that he seems to get along with earlier, almost tore his ear off by scolding him, telling him how stupid he was for getting lost inside the house. He pouted, glancing over the windowsill— "Ah, right! The window! HAHA, I'M A GENIUS!"

  


He was tall enough and the window was big enough for him to easily jump across, wincing in pain since he forgot to bring his slippers. "Aw! Aw! Aw! Ouch!" Barefoot, he walked across the garden, walking to the pond. "Amazing... it really sparkles, like _bling_!"

  


The pond mentioned wasn't sparkling; the moonlight was just reflecting on the water's unstable surface, but for Bokuto, it seems like there were glitters under the pond. The reflection is diffused, distributed onto the other higher waves since it was uneven and rough, but for Bokuto, it seemed like the waves are fighting for the top, where they could hog all they light that they desire. No matter how dull something is, he would always find something beautiful in it— _something magical_.

  


"If I found glitters in an expensive pond on an expensive garden inside a very expensive house, how much would it cost me?" Bokuto asks himself, before removing his shirt, preparing to jump on the pond to check out. "It'll probably worth millions! What could I buy with—"

  


"What are you doing?"

  


"Gek, Akaashi!"

  


"It's _Akaashi-sama_ for you." Holding a thin blanket on his right hand, Akaashi looked around the area. "How did you get here?"

  


"The window," Bokuto answered. "Why? Is it off-limits?"

  


Akaashi answered the question mentally— it is off-limits to staff, but he'll make an exception for Bokuto tonight. "Put this blanket down neatly. And also, wear your shirt."

  


"But I was about to go _glitter-hunting_!"

  


"Glitter-hunting?" Akaashi squinted; _probably another made-up word of his_. "The fishes are sleeping. You shouldn't disturb them."

  


"Oh, right," Bokuto seemed sad by the fact that he couldn't "glitter-hunt" tonight, but he bowed in front of the pond, mumbling: "Sorry, fishes. Sleep tight!"

  


_'He acts like a five-year-old. Who's the butler here?'_ Akaashi thought as he watched Bokuto tidy up an area for him, placing the thin blanket flatly on the grass. He laid down on the blanket, using his arms as the pillow, putting his right foot over his left. Meanwhile, Bokuto stayed beside him, Indian-sitting on the grass as he creates tiny ripples on the pond with his finger.

  


"How's your first day here?" Opening up a topic as his boss, Akaashi managed to break the silence before it gets awkward. "Do you find the ambience relaxing?"

  


"You didn't order me around for the entire day! It was so boring! Is it really what butlers do? I want to quit!"

  


"You don't hold back, huh." Akaashi sighed. "I was just being considerate. It is your first day, after all. Tomorrow, I expect you to wake me up with my breakfast ready, and my schedule ready to be read for the rest of the day."

  


"So in short, I'm your waiter?"

  


"If you insist."

  


  


The silence reigned over the atmosphere once again, letting the crickets create their own harmony of music as the leaves sway along with the flow of the wind. Bokuto squished his cheeks together with his callous palms to keep himself warm. "Why are you here, master? There are many bugs here."

  


"So what? They're not harming me," _'Master'?_ _Well, it's better than addressing me without honorifics._ "I'm here to sleep."

  


"Why?" Curiosity kills the cat, but Bokuto considers himself an owl. Moving an inch closer to Akaashi's blanket, he asked once more. "I'm pretty sure bed is more comfortable."

  


"I don't know... it just felt humble," Akaashi replied. Thanks to the atmosphere, it is calming him down, and he isn't in the mood to get annoyed at his new butler. "Inside my room, every single corner is adorned with something foreign. It's comfortable, but I don't feel like I should sleep there. It doesn't feel like me. So I sleep here instead. Unlike the atrocious sophisticated air that I'm forced to breathe in that room, this feels very humble, quiet... and I don't need to act to fit myself in the atmosphere."

  


"Man, rich boys have it tough, huh?" Bokuto leaned back, using his arms as his support. "I thought that maybe I should make myself rich, but I think I'm already happy with my house. I don't get lost there, and I could always see my mother and my sisters anywhere."

  


"It's not that horrible, though," Akaashi replied. "I could barely remember my mother singing a song to me, as she cradles me to sleep here. It felt very relaxing."

  


"What song?"

  


Akaashi glanced at Bokuto. They were having a 'getting-to-know-you' conversation, under the evening sky, as the crickets create the ambent music between them. Akaashi closed his eyes, reminiscing his early years with his mother. Her long, straight, jet-black hair was out in the open, letting the wind direct the flow of her strands as she focus on her child, eyes droopy as she cradles him in her arms, singing...

 _"Come with me, and you'll be, in our world of pure imagination..."_ A heavenly voice, not very rough but not too soft either. It was in between, his voice was sweet, almost playful, as Bokuto listened to him sing the rest of the song. _"Take a look, and you'll see, into your imagination..."_

 _"We'll begin, with a spin, travelling in the world of my creation..."_ Akaashi''s voice was neutral, but for Bokuto, it sounded lovely. In the garden at evening where the both of them are enjoying the view, the sound of Akaashi singing set the whole atmosphere, as the cheeks of the man mentioned was slightly flushed in pink— the thought of singing to his butler never came across his mind, but nevertheless he still finished the verse. _"What we'll see, will defy, explanation..."_

  


Bokuto clapped in amusement, as if he just finished listening to an opera. He complimented Akaashi for "singing like an angel", in which the latter replied with "cut it out", his embarassment getting larger every second passing by. "Where's your mother?"

  


"She was arranged into a marriage with my father. She agreed with the condition that once I'm old enough to be capable of living alone, they would let her go."

  


"How old are you back then?"

  


"Five."

  


"That's tough."

  


"Got used to it."

  


  


The two of them fell silent again, out of topics to talk about. But strange enough, it wasn't awkward. They just stared at the stars up above, decorating the dim sky, making the evening sky more interesting. Bokuto played with the pond and the fishes, while Akaashi just did what he is used to do in that garden— stay silent as he stargaze, using the stars as dots to connect and make an image, creating little shapes in his head. As the moon hides behind the clouds, Bokuto spoke up again.

  


"Hey, master..."

  


"You couldn't just keep your mouth shut, could you?"

  


"Is that a bad thing?"

  


"No, not really. Ask away."

  


Bokuto smiled as a gesture of appreciation before looking to the sky. "Do you know that aside from a falling star, there is another way to make your wishes come true?"

  


"Is that so?"

  


"They say, that if you could see _a thousand stars_ on the sky, you could wish for anything you want."

  


"A thousand?" Akaashi shifted his body sidewards, facing Bokuto. "Nobody would count that much."

  


"I'm really good at counting stars!" Bokuto proudly declared. "Hmm, let's see... there's probably a hundred in our field of vision right now."

  


"That's a small number." Akaashi retorted, unimpressed. "Is it even possible that a thousand would appear at one time?"

  


"It is possible! It happened once to me last year!"

  


"Oh? So, what did you wish for?"

  


Bokuto closed his lips shut. Unlike before, he seemed like a different person- letting out a gentle smile, as if it was on cue, they were blessed with the gentle breeze, and Bokuto let his ungelled hair flow along with the wind. He looked at Akaashi, as he answered in a very calm voice.

  


_**"My soulmate."** _

  


  


Akaashi felt something struck him inside, like an intensified heartbeat. Holding onto his chest, he looked at Bokuto, who was still smiling at him. "I heard from my mother before that a soulmate changes everything about your life. I wanted my soulmate as soon as possible, so they could change my life... because it's boring."

  


"How about you, master?" Bokuto asked the raven-haired gentleman. "If a thousand stars would be here right in front of you, what would you wish for?"

  


Akaashi averted his gaze from the man, looking at the hundreds of stars— according to Bokuto. What... would he wish for?

  


Being raised with a silver spoon in his mouth, whenever he is asked if he wanted something, Akaashi wouldn't think about it seriously, saying that his father's riches allow him to get anything he wanted- not that he ever wanted something in his life. Before he even had the desire to get it, it is already given to him. He particularly didn't want for anything material, that's for sure.

  


But if he could wish for something that money couldn't buy... what is it?

  


"...I don't know," Akaashi whispered. "But if a soulmate could really change my life, then maybe I would like one, too."

  


Akaashi Keiji is a perfect man. Being trained and taught that he's not in the same level with others, he knew more that anyone that he shouldn't wish for a real friend— a friend who isn't just there for connections, and a friend who couldn't reach out to him because of their difference of status: a friend he can talk to anytime. But if soulmates really do exist, then he would wish for something more than a friend— someone who'll be there for him, connected to him, not for the sake of connections and money, but for the sake of being happy. For Akaashi, he couldn't wish for a better wish than having a soulmate.

  


"Then, you should wish for it!"

  


"Don't be silly. A thousand stars won't appear."

  


"Did you forget, master?" Bokuto sounded smug as he confidently points his thumb towards him. "You have the best star-counter here—"

  


"Lame."

  


"That's why, I'll wait with you here every night, so we could wait for the thousand stars!"

  


Akaashi thought that Bokuto and his father must be scheming something, but whenever he looks at Bokuto's face... his smiles, his eyes, his words... they just all seem so genuine, so warm, so welcoming, that Akaashi couldn't bring to doubt him. He forgot about everything for a single second— his surname, his father, his responsibilities, _everything_. All Akaashi could think right now is he could talk to Bokuto like this as many times as he wants, and it made him happy.

  


Gazing back at the hundreds of stars above them, Akaashi smiled. "Sure. Sounds good to me."

  


***

  


Three months since Bokuto started working as Akaashi's butler.

  


"Good morning, master-"

  


"I'm already awake," Akaashi grumpily answered, his hair messed up. "You're ten minutes late."

  


Bokuto pouted, showing him the map that Akaashi drew for him. "It's because you didn't tell me where your room is! It's your fault!"

  


"Is that so?" Akaashi chuckled, standing up to see the breakfast that Bokuto brought for him. A main course consisting of langoustines, with a soup as the side-dish. "Well, then. Just place it on the table."

  


"Okaaay!"

  


Bokuto became more comfortable with his surroundings, humming while he carefully arranges the tableware on the table. Everyone already knows him at this point as "Akaashi-sama's clumsy butler", since they always see him getting lost. For some reason, all of them felt maternal to Bokuto, as if they're watching a baby chick come out of his shell which made sense because when it comes to his work, Bokuto is still learning the very basics of being a butler. Akaashi felt a little bit proud as he watches Bokuto arrange the table- he was the one who taught the inexperienced guy how to arrange the tables, accommodate guests, and act a little more like a butler.

  


If Akaashi would be completely honest, Bokuto didn't improve a lot- he still forgets about things, he would drop the expensive plates, and he always had to ask Tsukishima more than thrice just to remember Akaashi's schedule. But for Akaashi, it was nice to see Bokuto trying so hard to impress him. Bokuto is a mess, chaos, a force to be reckoned with— which makes him very human, very real, very genuine... just like how Akaashi wants.

  


"What is my schedule for the rest of the day?" Sitting down, Akaashi picked up the spoon to taste his breakfast for the day. Bokuto isn't in the level where he could cook Akaashi's breakfast himself yet, so he assisted the chef in making it— Akaashi could tell from the potatoes cut into little hearts.

  


"You've got none!" Bokuto answered. "Tsukishima said that your father didn't say anything. Well, your friend will visit you later, at 10 o'clock."

  


"Ah, _Kuroo_."

  


"Who is he?" Bokuto interrogated. _Ah, once he started asking, it would never end._ "I thought you didn't have any friends, master."

  


"That's rude."

  


"It is?"

  


Akaashi nodded before wiping the sides of his lips with a tissue. "Kuroo is a son of our company's chief financial officer. Well, he's probably my closest friend out of everyone, although we just became friends because of our families."

  


"Really?" Bokuto headed towards the window to open them ~~since he almost forgot about it~~. "What is this Kuroo like?"

  


"Cunning. Stupid. He is doing some work for me in exchange of my words of recommending him to my father. I guess he's nice. You'll probably get alon— what's with that face?"

  


Bokuto couldn't wipe the nervousness off his face, as he responded with a shaky voice. "Y-You're not going to give me to this Kuroo guy, aren't you?"

  


"Silly," Akaashi laughed for a short second. "Why would I?"

  


"But you said 'you'll probably get along'!"

  


"You've never heard of that phrase before?" Akaashi shifted his gaze from his breakfast to face Bokuto, who was standing beside him. "Sit in front of me."

  


Pouting, Bokuto complied— which Akaashi finds cute. The gray-haired man looked like a kid who was forced to avoid the nearby toy store as he sat down on a chair in front of Akaashi, watching the latter eat his breakfast. "Kuroo doesn't want a butler, so I doubt he would hire you."

  


"Why? What happened?"

  


"He used to have a butler before, and he cherished it more than anyone else, but his father used that against him," Akaashi narrated. "He used it to order Kuroo in any way that he wants to, so Kuroo had to fire his own butler to keep him away from his father— why are you crying?"

  


"It was so sad! They're separated by force— everyone would be sad with that story!" Bokuto wailed, crawling under the table to seclude himself inside the tablecloth. "Leave me alone for a while, I want to be alone..."

  


_"Who's the butler here?"_

  


"Wait... then that means I'll continue to work under you?" Bokuto's eyes twinkled, as if the toy that he was crying for earlier was given to him for free, his head popping out of the tablecloth as he looks at Akaashi.

  


"Why do you look so happy?"

  


"Because I want to serve Akaashi _forever!_ " Bokuto showed a huge, hearty smile as he crawls away from the table. Looking back at Akaashi, he held the necktie that Konoha did for him, touching the silver tie bar that AKaashi personally have it made for him, with his name engraved minimalistically on the center. "I want to be your butler 'til we get old."

__

__

  


"... is that so?"

  


"Yup!" Bokuto shone brighter than the sun outside- he sparkled brighter than the pond in the evening. "Remember when I told you before that I find my life boring? But now, I have you as my master, so every day won't be boring!"

"..."

"You are smarter than me, and you've seen more places than I did. Every single day isn't boring, because wherever you are, whenever I'm with you, I learn something new." Bokuto stood up, heading towards the window. He placed his hands on the windowsill, before looking back at Akaashi with a hint of pink on his cheeks. "I consider you as my soulmate- so don't give me to someone else."

  


Akaashi was stoned. Only three months had passed since then, and it's not like something interesting happened in those days. But for Bokuto, it was more than enough to ease his boredom- because Akaashi is new to his life. Akaashi's reactions when he didn't like something, Akaashi's opinion and views on something, Akaashi's preferences about something- the more he unveils, the more he gets invested in him. But... that was just because Akaashi is still new to him.

  


_If he already knows Akaashi from inside out, would he get bored again?_

  


But that question was erased from his head when he heard Akaashi's soft voice speaking with the leaves rustling outside. As the wind gently flows its way in, the shorter leaned back on his seat, with a timid smile visible on his lips.

  


"Don't worry... _I don't think I could let you go either._ "

  


"..."

  


"What are you spacing out for? Kuroo will visit, so do some preparations and welcome him here."

  


"Yes, master!" 

  


  


***

  


  


Getting off a Mercedes, a black leather shoe stepped on the concrete, followed by a handful of bodyguards lining a path towards the entrance of one of the Akaashi's summer houses, where Akaashi Keiji resides. Wearing a formal tuxedo with the coat hanging on his right arm, he inhaled deeply as his eyes roamed around, looking at the large fountain on his back. The water came from three mermaid statues, which seems like they're doing some flips in the air while they blow out the watter in the middle. "Ah, I'll never get tired of this view."

  


" Now, then— I heard he had his first ever butler," The right corner of his lips raised, as a bodyguard brought out an umbrella, escorting him inside. "What kind of butler had the privilege to serve _the_ Akaashi Keiji?"

  


"What did Akaashi told me again?" Standing on the lobby, Bokuto tried to remember one of Akaashi's lectures as he walks back and forth. " _'Nice to meet you'_? No, I think it's _'I'm glad you arrived here safely'_... Why do I have to greet him, anyway? I'm not the guard, right? Ah... I want to eat barbeque."

  


"Kuroo-sama had arrived—"

  


"PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE KIDDING!" In a panic, Bokuto closed his eyes as he tried to remember. "What did Akaashi say? What did Akaashi say? What did— _I want to eat barbeque..._ " But it was rendered useless as his grumbling stomach distracts him from thinking.

  


"Oya?" A nasty smile surfaced on Kuroo's lips as he watches the butler tremble before him. Although Kuroo wasn't slim, Bokuto is still larger than him in build, but now that the latter isn't in his best state of mind, Kuroo appeared taller as he stood before him, gesturing his bodyguard to leave. "Are you Keiji's first butler?"

  


"Y-yup, that's me!"

  


Kuroo took a step backward, hands on his waist as he looks at Bokuto, observing him from head to toe. _Based on looks, he would probably be better off as his bodyguard instead._ Bokuto gulped, as his mind plays out a scene wherein Akaashi told him he's fired because all he did was eat the house's barbeque. Unable to make it into society, he wandered around, disowned by his mother who was very proud at him all this time, homeless, then he'll wither away in hunger. In his perspective, he needs to do well, or else he'll ~~never be able to eat barbeque~~ — he'll get fired.

  


"N-Nice..."

  


"Hmm?"

  


"NICE TO EAT BARBEQUE WITH YOU SAFELY!"

  


  


"..."

  


"..."

  


"..."

  


_'HOLY SHIT, I MESSED UP.'_

  


"Pfft... HAHAHA! Sure, let's eat barbeque later!" A high-pitched witch-like laugh echoed on the lobby as Kuroo taps Bokuto's shoulder. You're interesting! Keiji must've been so confused when you arrived here!"

  


"Ha? A-Ah, yeah."

  


"Where's Keiji?"

  


"He told me to escort you to the garden..." Bokuto unleashed a nervous laughter. "...what does escort mean?"

  


"HAHAHA! Come with me!"

  


  


***

  


  


"Ah." Akaashi closed the book that he was analyzing when he heard the familiar hyena laugh echoing from the hallway. "Long time no see, Kuroo. You're still a hurricane as ever."

  


Kuroo Tetsurou, a son of Akaashi Group of Comapnies' CFO. As a child of someone who've worked under the Akaashi's for years, the Kuroo's have gained their trust, to the point that Kuroo could come in and out of Akaashi's house even if he didn't make a proper appointment. His arm is wrapped around Bokuto's tense shoulder as he drags him towards Akaashi. "Hey, Keiji! I knew you have a butler now, but I didn't know he was this interesting!"

  


"Tone it down, Kuroo." Akaashi already knew Bokuto would mess up with his greeting. He gave Bokuto a subtle "good job" nod before looking at Kuroo. "What brought you here?"

  


Kuroo smirked as he raised a piece of envelope, locked between his middle and pointing finger. "Barbeque."

  


A sudden picnic occurred, which made Bokuto occupied in cooking ~~and eating~~ the meat while Akaashi and Kuroo were sitting on a blanket on the grass, with three pictures between them.

  


"The lady in these pictures was Yume Chernikova. 16 years old. Half-Japanese, half-Russian, a daughter of a group of distinguished shopping malls not only in the country, but also in Russia." Kuroo stated, pointing at the light-blonde-haired woman on each photo, probably taken from the CCTV's footage. Kuroo was tasked to report anything suspicious activity to Akaashi, in exchange Akaashi would run his mouth at his father to recommend Kuroo to the company. A dirty trick, but it equally benefitsthem, so up until now, Kuroo is working as Akaashi's spy. "She is currently in one of our hotels right now, in Hyogo."

  


"And you're telling me that because?"

  


Kuroo took the fourth picture out of the envelope and showed it to Akaashi. Unlike his nonchalant expression earlier, Akaashi almost kissed the fourth picture as he stared at it intensely, hoping that his eyes are just playing around with him. It was indeed his father— entering Yume Chernikova's hotel room.

  


"She checked in a week ago, and every day, your father would visit her there," Kuroo whispered. "He is accompanied by bodyguards as they wait outside for your father to finish inside the room."

  


Akaashi blinked as his head bobbed to Bokuto's direction, who doesn't have a single clue about their conversation, smiling as he taste the burnt meant, screaming because it's hot. "So, what are you trying to imply here?"

  


"Who knows?" Kuroo put the pictures back in the envelope, placing them inside his jacket.

  


"Is he... planning to marry that girl?"

  


"You're such an overthinker, what do you even think of your father?" The taller chuckled. "Chernikova's 16. It would be a crime if he tried to mess around with that girl. Besides, it would not be very wise if your father tried to do something bad to Italy's one of the biggest financial conglomerates, don't you think?"

  


"Then, what is he thinking?"

  


"You're smart, Akaashi, try to think about it," The faint sounds of Bokuto screaming because the barbeque is over grilled didn't help on making Akaashi think clearly. "If he couldn't marry that girl because she's too young, _who would?_ "

  


Akaashi's eyes widened by the sudden realization. "I would."

  


"Exactly."

  


Akaashi didn't respond immediately, which Kuroo claims as his "overthinking state". All he could do is to be silent and let Akaashi load in the information as he watches the small fishes swim around the pond, swimming around endlessly, as if they're finding for the unexisting exit that'll take them out of the pond— their little prison.

  


"If Father would like me to marry someone for his benefit, I'm not opposed to that idea, but..." Akaashi's line of sight landed on someone, as Kuroo tries to follow it. "But..."

  


Kuroo smiled, as they both look at Bokuto. The latter, who felt the gazes of the two men, puts the tongs down as he stares back, confused. "Huh? Why are you both looking at me? Are you talking about nasty things about me, Akaashi? How could you?"

  


"No, I don't. Don't jump to conclusions. I told you about this so many times already."

  


"Then why are you both looking at me, huh?"

  


"Because the meat is already burnt."

  


"OH, CRAP! I FORGOT ABOUT THAT!"

  


Akaashi laughed as he tucked the loose ends of his hair behind his ear, but that didn't make any of a difference since the wind blew against it, messing it up again. Instead of fixing it once more, Akaashi let the wind decide, letting the cool breeze govern over the atmosphere as he watches Bokuto panic. He genuinely liked watching Bokuto— it became his hobby. He would order Bokuto around, and watch him as he freaks out with his own clumsiness. It was very cute, and he enjoys every second of it.

  


Seeing how Akaashi smiled, Kuroo sighed, pulling out his phone. Opening the gallery, he scrolled down 'til he saw the picture that he took on Akaashi's graduation day. Akaashi wasn't smiling one bit, shoulder all stiff and uptight, with his uniform that doesn't even have a single wrinkle on, as he holds his graduation certificate with his right haand, left hand hiding behing his back. Akaashi seemd very distand, serious, and stoic, despite how wide Kuroo smiled in one of the pictures, his arms around the former's shoulder. He slid his finger to the left once more, and he stopped.

  


_"C'mon, Keiji! Let's take a selfie!"_

_"Kuroo-sama, Keiji-sama isn't allowed to be in a photograph. His father wouldn't allow that."_

_"Don't be so strict, Tsukki! You won't tell Akaashi-sama about it, right? It's just a picture! What harm would it bring you?"_

_"But..."_

_"Let him be, Tsukishima. Just don't tell Father about this."_

_"This is bothering me for a while now, but why are you acting like you're working under Keiji, Tsukki? You're _my_ butler!"_

_"It's because you're such a headache to deal with, Kuroo."_

_"You're both mean! Anyway, this is Keiji's graduation, so let's all take a picture!"_

_"Even me?"_

_"Of course! You guys are friends since middle school, right? You should think of loosing up more often! What's with kids nowadays?"_

_"You're just two years older than me..."_

_"Okay, Keiji, Tsukki! Give me your biggest smile!"_

  


Kuroo held the phone up, pressing the capture button as the countdown appears on the screen, starting with five. With the phone ticking every second, Kuroo wrapped his left arm around Tsukishima's shoulder, while the latter tries to push him away. Akaashi watched them from the side, still in the frame, timidly smiling as he heard the shutter from Kuroo's phone.

  


Looking back at Akaashi, Kuroo let out a relieved smile. Unlike the timid and formal Akaashi that he's been with all these years, this is the first time that he heard Akaashi so carelessly. Freely. Genuinely. Akaashi chuckled as he watched Bokuto, throwing some snarky remarks at him totease the latter about his failure in such a simple task like grilling meat. As the two exchange banters, Kuroo set his line of sight higher, tilting his chin up to look at the sky, smiling. "Ah, _youth._ "

  


  


***

  


  


"Then, I'll get going now."

  


"Bye-bye, Kuroo!" Kuroo and Bokuto became acquainted after a talk about robots, therefore Bokuto became attached to the lanky guy- but sadly, the evening had arrived, and Kuroo had to go home.

  


"Well then, Keiji, Bokuto," Kuroo showed a relaxed grin before entering the car. "See you again."

  


"Yupsies! I'll deifnitely see you again!" Bokuto cried out. When Kuroo's car engine started moving, Bokuto chased after the car, waving on the window. "Bye-bye, Kuroo! Bye-bye!"

  


"Bokuto, stop that," Akaashi told him, and the butler pouted as he returned inside with Akaashi. The black-haired was very tired, comprehending nothing about Kuroo and Bokuto's conversation earlier. He just felt exhausted trying to think about it. "Well, the work here is done, so you could go ahead and sleep in your room."

  


"Eh? We won't count the stars tonight?"

  


Akaashi sighed as he let the other drag him to the garden. It's not a question- it is an invitation.

  


  


***

  


  


"Not a thousand stars today, either, huh..."

  


"Then, I'll go back ins-"

  


"WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT!"

  


"What is it?" Akaashi kept his best to keep his lids open to look at Bokuto. "If you want to ask something, spill it already. I want to sleep."

  


"Why don't you sleep here like usual?"

  


"I forgot to bring a pillow."

  


"Then..." Bokuto sat down on the grass, crossing his legs. He tapped his thigh thrice, looking at Akaashi. "You can use my thighs as your pillow!"

  


Akaashi's right eyebrow twitched, as he stared at Bokuto's hand that was tapping his thigh. He sat down beside Bokuto, and the latter took off his suit's jacket to place it on the grass, as Akaashi laid on it, his head ending up on Bokuto's lap. He shivered when he felt Bokuto's large hand combing his hair— _don't blush... don't get flustered... act normal..._

  


"S-so?" Akaashi shifted his body sidewards, facing the pond. "What are you going to ask?"

  


"Just curious," Akaashi felt his heart pounding when he heard Bokuto's voice speaking directly onto his ear. "What did you and Kuroo talked about when I was cooking the meat earlier?"

  


"You mean burning the meat?"

  


"HEY!"

  


"Ouch, don't yell," Akaashi winced, covering his ear— but it actually was to hide his pinkish cheeks from Bokuto's sight. "Well, nothing really important."

  


"Ah, is that so?"

  


"Yeah."

  


"Okay, you can go."

  


_"Who do you think you are to dismiss me?"_ Akaashi moved his eyes sidewards to see Bokuto staring at the pond with a neutral expression. He was slightly hesitant, but in the end, Akaashi opened up a topic. "Hey..."

  


"Hmm?"

  


"I'd like to ask your view on something." Akaashi faced up. "Is that alright?"

  


"Really?" Bokuto's head cocked down, looking at Akaashi, surprising the latter. Their faces were only inches away— a slight nudge on Bokuto's head would definitely press his lips on Akaashi's. "Sure! I was waiting for you to say that!"

  


Heaving a long sigh, Akaashi looked at Bokuto. He was thinking, for a short millisecond that he had if he should ask him, but in the end, he opened his lips. "Kuroo told me that Father might arrange me into a marriage sooner or later."

  


Bokuto's eyebrows knitted as he cocked his face away from Akaashi's sight. _He didn't like the sound of that._ "And? What did you say?"

  


"Well, it's not yet official. It's just our speculation," Akaashi said. "But I thought, I've followed Father all my life. It's just another one of his orders. I could easily do it. But..."

  


"But?"

  


"I don't want to... _because I'm starting to like someone._ "

  


  


Bokuto looked back as Akaashi, and he was suddenly held back by the younger's pretty face, beautifully lit by the moonlight. As Akaashi's hooded eyes looked at him— it was sharp and cold, distant and emotionless— but the shade of gunmetal blue painted in his irises in the most stunning way provided hope, beauty... _meaning_.

  


"Who is it..." Bokuto spoke up before he could ever think. "Who is it that you like so much?"

  


Akaashi smiled. Seeing Bokuto so anxious was a sight to ravish on. Right this moment, his lips are talking before he could speak. His heart decides before his mind could even analyze the consequences. He doesn't know if it's because of what Kuroo warned him about earlier, but he likes Bokuto. He wants to be with Bokuto. He wants to watch Bokuto for so much longer. He wants to be with Bokuto _forever._ Akaashi took a deep breath... grabbed Bokuto's collar and pulled him down.

  


  


**"You."**

  


  


Bokuto was taken aback by their lips clashing, but he didn't pull his head away, which made Akaashi happy. The feeling of Akaashi's soft lips nibbling on Bokuto's lower lip- the way they move sloppily, Bokuto closed his lids halfway as his hands travel to Akaashi's cheeks, squishing them in his large hands as he reponds with full enthusiasm, With how fast the things were pacing, it wasn't shocking that Bokuto felt so unsatisfied when Akaashi slightly pushed him away.

  


"I think I like you, Bokuto," Akaashi said directly at him. "So I don't know what to do, if my father set me up to marry someone."

  


Bokuto is surprised, his jaw hangs open as he slowly processed the words that he just heard. But it was useless— all he could think about is Akaashi's pretty moonlit face, smiling at him, cheeks deeply flushed in red, as his eyelashes flutter around his lids, avoiding the older's gaze.

  


"What... should I do with these feelings?"

  


"The answer is obvious..."

  


Bokuto touched Akaashi's cheeks, and the latter immediately pressed his cheek against Bokuto's palm, closing his hands as he feels the roughness of Bokuto's palm brushing against his soft skin. Hesitant, Bokuto lifted Akaashi's head, drawing it closer to his face. Shutting his lids down, Bokuto and Akaashi's lips met once more, but this time, it was Bokuto taking the lead.

  


_"When you're lost, **you follow your heart.** "_

  


  


***

  


  


With that conversation, it is easy for them to reach this point...

  


"Akaashi! Akaashi!"

  


The sound of the bed creaking back and forth, bumping onto the wall; the smell of sex lingering around, and the warmth of their bodies embraced together. Bokuto Koutarou wasn't even holding back- he just kept ramming his thighs forward harder and harder, unable to satisfy the thirst he had for his master, Akaashi Keiji.

  


The mentioned man was almost screaming, wailing, crying for both pain and pleasure— if not for Bokuto muffling his mouth with the tip of his fingers pressed on the raven-haired's throat. It _hurts_ — it was going on since 9 PM, and it was already 3 in the early morning. The bed was wet and sticky, and his hole felt so sore, not to mention that Bokuto is still using it as he wants to up until now.

  


Akaashi couldn't keep his head straight, but he knew he should keep his moans low, so he sucked Bokuto's fingers, licking them, letting it touch the back of his throat. Tears welled up beside his droopy eyelids once again as Bokuto's movements became sloppier, but even if he slowed down a bit, he didn't make it any easier for Akaashi to receive. Every thrust that he did was harder than before, reaching deeper places than before, to the point that Akaashi is _shaking_ in each thrust.

  


"B-bokuto... calm down a bit..." Out of strength, Akaashi whispered, cupping the other's chin to kiss him tenderly. Of course, the taller replied, returning the favor in a much messier way, smearing their saliva all over their lips— _just like how they want it_. Akaashi was so tired that he already was about to sleep, but his lips are still moving to accommodate his butler's tongue roaming inside his mouth.

  


"Akaashi, I'm close..."

  


"M-mhm..."

  


"Let me go hard, I promise it'll be the last one!"

  


"Y-you... you said that two hours ago... but fine..." Akaashi opened his eyes- the gunmetal shade of blue was peeking through, the blurry sight of Bokuto firmly grinding his cock inside him made it disappear, rolling at the back as he reaches for his asshole, gently pressing it around Bokuto's shaft— _if that could ever ease the pain_ , before looking at Bokuto. "... u-use it as you like."

  


Those words were more than enough for Bokuto. Holding on the headboard with his left hand, he lifted Akaashi's thigh with his right, pressing it against the poor guy's stomach, almost bending him over.

  


"N-not that posi... AH!" Akaashi couldn't hold back his screams anymore. The creaks of the bed went wilder as Bokuto bit his lower lip, closing his eyes, feeling nothing but Akaashi's insides being all wet, tight, and mushy _just for him_. The sounds of Akaashi's cries motivated him more, as he keeps on hitting the same spot that he almost memorized in Akaashi's body.

  


"B-Bokuto! N-near!"

  


"Yup... I'm cumming too!"

  


Bokuto released all his load inside Akaashi, not pulling his dick out 'til he made sure that he let everything out. Even after he pulled it out, he closed Akaashi's legs immediately and moved his ass up to enjoy the view in front of him.

  


Akaashi had no strength to be embarrassed. He felt Bokuto pressing his hole, keeping all his love juices inside him, but he pays it no mind. He just wanted to sleep as soon as possible...

  


Bokuto smiled as he bent his upper body down, placing a gentle kiss on Akaashi's cheeks. Taking Akaashi's feeble body into his arms, he hugged him, wrapping him in the warmest way possible.

  


"I love you."

  


***

  


"Good morning, Akaashi!" The usual, loud, cheerful voice woke Akaashi up from his long slumber. As soon as he lifted his eyelids, he felt the unbearable pain in his behind, wincing in front of Bokuto. "Did it hurt?"

  


Akaashi didn't answer— the answer was pretty obvious. Bokuto already put on a robe on him, but he can feel how sticky his legs were. "You didn't wipe it off?"

  


"But Akaashi's sleeping so peacefully, I cannot disturb Akaashi!"

  


"Liar."

  


A faint of pink showed up on Bokuto's cheeks as he whistles, looking away. Akaashi raised his eyebrows; _Bokuto probably stared at it 'til morning and didn't want to wipe it off._ The thought crossed his mind, and he felt a little embarrassed about it.

  


"A-anyway!" Akaashi stood up, bashful of everything he have said last night. "Let's just forget what happened—"

  


"Eh? Why?"

  


Akaashi's legs twitched as he immediately searched for a wall to support him. "What do you mean, 'why'? You're my butler. We shouldn't do _these_ things."

  


"But a relationship with you isn't against the contract, isn't it?" Bokuto's head tilted, confused on why Akaashi was shaking. "What's wrong with you, Akaashi? Are you mad at me?"

  


"No, I'm not."

  


"But you're _shaking_."

  


"... that's for an entirely different reason—" Akaashi pursed his lips away from his butler, crossing his arms, facing away from him with a small 'hmph!' noise. "—and it's your fault!"

  


"So you're angry?"

  


"I told you, I'm not—" Akaashi looked at Bokuto once again— then he realized that the man was wearing nothing on his upper body. "Ah, whatever! Fine! Just don't blame me if you get hurt later!"

  


"Why would I do that?" Bokuto smiled as he approached Akaashi. Wary of what Bokuto might do, the black-haired was prepared to push him away, but he just pulled him to a tight hug. Akaashi closed his eyes as Bokuto's arms wrapped him completely, mashing his fragile body inside the other's biceps. "After all, Akaashi likes me back. What else could even hurt me?"

  


Akaashi could feel Bokuto's bare chest through his thin silk robe, making him think of several inappropriate things to do in daylight. But those thoughts aside, he fell comfortable within Bokuto's arms and hugged him back, his slim arms sneaking through Bokuto's waist, to hug him back; arms wrapped all through Bokuto's shoulders, where Akaashi's thin, pretty fingers stayed to rest.

"Akaashi?"

  


"Mhm?"

  


"I like you too. _A lot._ "

  


Akaashi's cheeks felt warm, his earlobes pink in color as he hids his face from Bokuto's sight, burying his face on the latter's neck. There, he could see the bruises on Bokuto's neck— the hickeys that he made last night, marking the butler as his. He felt Bokuto's huge hand rubbing his back up and down, and he smelled the taller's musky perfume, barely smellable on his bare skin.

  


That was when Akaashi realized— they did it. In those hours, they were connected. Akaashi saw every inch of Bokuto's skin, and he got to touch it whenever he wants. Bokuto memorized the feeling of Akaashi's insides milking him dry. It was a memorable night for them— the first night of their relationship. But that's not all: It was just the beginning. Akaashi could think of a few problems that he'll need to face later, but as of now, he wanted _nothing but Bokuto's warmth_ around him.

  


  


"Akaashi?"

  


"Mhm?"

  


"Your legs are _really_ trembling."

  


" _Sigh._ Carry me back to bed."

  


"Why are they shaking, anyway? Did you go to a running marathon last night?"

  


"Bokuto, _just—_ shut up. Shut up for an hour."

  


"Okaaay!"

  


"..."

  


"But, _just in case_ , do you need a wheelcha—"

  


"SHUT UP."

  


  


***

  


  


Checking his watch: 7:00 AM sharp. Checking himself in the mirror: looking neat. Checking the tray: everything is still hot and fresh. Checking his voice: it probably wouldn't crack... _hopefully_. "Okay, all ready—" Knocking three times on the door; opening it slowly...

  


"Good morning, my ever-so-lovely baby!" Waking him up for the umpteenth time, Bokuto placed a gentle kiss on Akaashi's temple, holding a tray of coffee and pancakes on his left hand as he brushes away the latter's strands with his right. "For today, you'll taste the first-ever Bokuto Pancakes!"

  


"You're too loud, shut up," Akaashi replied, already awake, bursting out a short breath of laughter as he rises, leaning his cheeks to Bokuto's large hand. "Feed me."

  


"Hmm? My baby wants to be fed?" The yellow in Bokuto's eyes glistened— for the past two years that they've been dating, it was very rare for Akaashi to reach out first. "Why all of a sudden?"

  


"I don't know," Akaashi shrugged. "It just feels like a treat if Bokuto himself would feed me the Bokuto Pancakes."

  


"A... AKAASHI!" A wretched voice echoed against Akaashi's room as Bokuto dived in, crushing Akaashi in his arms, the both of them falling down to Akaashi's bed, the soft matress keeping them warm.

  


"W-wait— hahaha, I couldn't breathe! Hahaha! Bokuto!"

  


"Why do you have to do that, huh?" Bokuto chortled in laughter along with him, gently ticking the smaller on his waist as he holds his wrists up. "Saying those words with the _prettiest face,_ I can't with you, Akaashi!"

  


"Hahaha— I'm sorry, let me— HAHAHA!"

  


Noticing that Akaashi was almost out of breath, Bokuto let him go, wiping off the sweat on his darling's forehead. "I never thought I am capable of laughing like this," Akaashi's laughter died down as he clutched on Bokuto's nape, bring him down to his bed with him. "Thank you for making me so happy."

  


Bokuto smiled, as his large hand caressed Akaashi's cheeks, letting his thumb feel the latter's earlobes, tracing every inch of his beautiful face with his fingers, while staring at it up close, cherishing every second passing by. "If there's someone who made me happy, it would be you."

  


"Is that so?" His hooded lids were half-closed as he rolls over, trapping Bokuto under him ~~although it didn't work, since Bokuto's just too big~~.

  


"Oh?" An amused tone surfaced from Bokuto's voice as he ran his palms to Akaashi's waist, caressing it along with his hips. "Don't tell me that you'd like something _more delicious_ than the Bokuto Pancakes?"

  


Akaashi let out a grin, cupping Bokuto's cheeks with his sleek hands. Bokuto puckered up his lips as he lifted his head, drawing himself closer to Akaashi. "Once we're done with this, let's go to my house."

  


Akaashi immediately pulled back. "Wait— _why_?"

  


"What do you mean, 'why'?" Bokuto asked, as if it was a weird question. "We've been dating for two years now. Isn't it time for you to see my mom?"

  


"B-but—" Akaashi buried his face on Bokuto's neck as the color of pink gathered on his ears and cheeks. "Would she find _me_ okay?"

  


Bokuto guffawed into laughter, which made Akaashi even more embarrassed. "Shut up! I'm nervous here!"

  


"Don't worry, don't worry! My mom loves me very much!" Bokuto's laughter died down as he held Akaashi's hair, stroking his back with his left hand. " _There's no way in hell that she wouldn't find you pretty._ "

  


Akashi's head bobbed up a little, only to look at Bokuto. "Really?"

  


"Really. Although my sisters might be a little jealous of you since you're prettier than them."

  


"That just made me even more nervous."

  


"HAHAHA!"

  


  


"Your mother... your sisters... what are they like?"

  


Bokuto looked at Akaashi, who avoided his gaze by looking the opposite way. _Akaashi must've been very worried_. "They're loud, but they're nice. They give the best hugs too. They never let me feel alone at home. They love me very much, and I do too! So don't worry about anything else, Akaashi: they'll love you." Bokuto confirmed as he pressed his cheeks onto Akaashi, squishing it like a mochi ball. "Now, can we kiss already?"

  


"Oka—"

  


"Sorry to interrupt, but Akaashi-sama, you can have Bokuto-san later."

  


"Tsukishima!" Getting off of Bokuto as fast as he could, Akaashi's face glows in beet red as he covers Bokuto's face with his pillow. Unbothered by the sensual scene that he completely interrupted, Tsukishima fixed the position of his glasses on the bridge of his notes as he closes the door, making sure that no one would see the scene of his master's son getting laid by his very own butler.

  


"Your father is outside, and he wishes to talk to you immediately."

  


The blush that was plastered over Akaashi's face vanished in an instant as he stood up, glancing at the breakfast Bokuto made for him. "Immediately?"

  


"Immediately."

  


"Isn't it the first time that your father visited you? I'm so happy for you, baby!" Bokuto sat up, slightly pushing Akaashi to the cabinet. "Could he wait for five minutes? I'm just going to fix Akaashi up, wipe his drool, and all that stuff— is that okay?"

  


Tsukishima's eyes narrowed on Akaashi's pale face, as he looks back at Bokuto. "Understood. Then, I'll have Akaashi-sama wait for Keiji-sama in the meeting room."

  


"Thank you!"

  


As soon as Tsukishima left the room, Bokuto couldn't hide his excitement, shaking Akaashi's shoulders back and forth. "Did you hear that? He's here! This is the moment you've been waiting for! I'm so happy for y— Akaashi?"

  


"A-ah, sorry..." Letting himself be tugged into the bathroom, Akaashi was pale, trembling, and nervous. It was the first time in his entire life that his father took the time to visit him— it makes him happy, but there was this boggling feeling that he isn't just here to check on his son.

  


"Why? You nervous?" Pumping the facial cleanser onto his hands and dampening Akaashi's face with a customized faucet for washing the face, he lathered the foam onto the raven-haired's skin, caressing his thick eyebrows with his thumb. "My instincts are telling me that he's here to acknowledge you! Cheer up, baby!"

  


"... _since when_ did your instincts went right?" Akaashi muttered, but he ended up chuckling softly with Bokuto. His boyfriend is more excited than him, and it surprisingly calms him down. _It wouldn't be bad... It wouldn't be bad... He came here with a piece of good news_. Chanting those in mind, Akaashi smiled as he washes his face and brushes his teeth himself, while Bokuto went ahead to pick an outfit.

  


"Akaashi, what would you like? A bow tie, or a necktie?"

  


"Which one would you like to wear on me?"

  


"Then, I'll go with a bow tie, since I don't know how to tie a tie!"

  


"Seriously..." Akaashi scoffed as he inserts his arms through the white polo's sleeves, leaving it to Bokuto to button it together. As the taller fixed his outfit, Akaashi looked up to the ceiling— and it didn't escape Bokuto's eyes.

  


"Don't worry," Bokuto smiled at him— more than enough to reassure the younger who was overflowing with doubts earlier. "He won't do anything to you."

  


"How can you say that?" Akaashi muttered. "Who knows? He might separate us together."

  


"Then, if he did, just come back to me once everything's settled!" Bokuto did nothing but reassure the other that everything's going to be alright. Akaashi's father was silent for the two whole years, despite knowing that Akaashi and Bokuto were getting along really well. If he was silent for two years, why would he bark now? And also... _"No matter what happens, I'll always wait for you._

  


"No matter where you are, no matter how long," Leaning over to give the smaller a gentle peck on the lips, Bokuto caressed Akaashi's left cheek. **_"I will always be here, waiting for you."_**

  


Akaashi smiled. Right— he have Bokuto by his side now. They never saw a thousand stars, but they know— he knows —that no matter what happens, they'll always be together in the end. "I love you."

  


"I love you more, Akaashi!"

  


"No, I do."

  


"Akaashi, don't even argue with me! I love you the most! Period! No erase! Lock!"

  


"Hahaha, fine, fine."

  


  


***

  


  


Unlike the motif of the house that is inspired by palaces in Greece, the meeting room was rather built humbly, with wooden planks all over the floor. There was nothing but a mat, a low long table, and the variety of food prepared in front of them.

  


"Keiji-sama has arrived," Tsukishima announced as Akaashi went inside the room, along with Bokuto standing behind him. Wearing a clasically simple black suit with a batwing bow tie, Akaashi strode across the room, hesitation on each steps as his father waits for him to settle down. The intense atmosphere made the hair on Bokuto's back shiver, slightly stepping close to Tsukishima as they stood next to the doorway.

  


His heart was pounding in nervousness and fear but Akaashi successfully sat on the wooden floor, in front of his father. "I'm glad to see you okay, Fath—"

  


"I do not have the time to waste for your greetings," With one look at Tsukishima, the secretary nodded, eventually asking Bokuto to get out with him— for this is a private family matter, which made Akaashi more nervous. "I'll get to the point."

  


  


**"Keiji, get married."**

  


  


"HA?" As soon as he heard the last word, Akaashi burst out, standing up against his father. He realized how immature his reaction was, therefore sitting down again in a kore composed manner. "... I apologize. But I would like you to clarify it to me, if possible."

  


"It is what it is. Get married in Russia with one of my business partner's daughter," Merciless, Akaashi's father confirmed the announcement. "Yume is now 18. Have a child with her and live with her. That's all."

  


"B-but—!"

  


"You've made a grave mistake, Keiji," His father picked up the cup of tea, sipping some before laying an eye at his son, who clearly didn't like the news. "And that was being _too_ perfect."

  


Akaashi didn't reply, hence the older continued talking. "You are too perfect, too flawless, too strong— and being too much is _never_ a good thing."

  


"As perfect as you are, I'm surprised that you never suspected anything about Bokuto Koutarou. Does it make sense to you?" Akaashi's father didn't stutter as he kept on punching Akaashi in the gut with his words. "He just finished high school, he isn't— in any way —professional, and frankly, he isn't smart either. There's no way that I would hire him."

  


"Then..." Akaashi mumbled in a low voice. "... why did you hire Bokuto?"

  


"To give you a weakness, and use it against you." Frank. Direct. Straight to the point. Akaashi's father had now revealed his plan. "Bokuto is a genuine person, with genuine feelings, genuine emotions. As soon as I heard him from Tsukishima, I knew that he would be perfect in making you weaker."

  


"..."

  


"How does it feel, Akaashi?" His father grinned as he mocks the younger. "Being played around like a toy. How does it feel to be manipulated to do someone else? How does it feel, to be _imperfect?_ "

  


Akaashi didn't respond, much to his father's dismay. "I used to think that you are perfect- but actually, you aren't. Look how weak you are right now- just because of a person. As your father, I only want the best for you. So be perfect, Akaashi. Forget your weakness and get over it. Marry a woman, _as any perfect man would._ "

  


"Perfection? Best? Weakness?" The first group of words that Akaashi let out of his lips. "Go to hell with those words. Who cares about perfection, anyway? Who cares about being the best? Who cares about being weak? Only cowards would think about those— _bastards like you_."

  


"What? Shocked because I finally spoke up?" Akaashi shot a glare towards his own father. "You manipulated me like a puppet. I think it's fair for me to say these things, from a son to a father."

  


But instead of being shocked, Akaashi's father is amused. Akaashi was taken aback when a satisfied smile appeared on his father's face. "Very well. Spoken like a perfect man."

  


"Damn you..."

  


"The wedding will happen six months from now, but I need you to fly there tomorrow-"

  


"I don't remember agreeing to that—"

  


" _Bokuto's family is a cheerful one, isn't it?_ "

  


Akaashi's jaw dropped when he saw his old man holding a series of pictures— a picture of Bokuto's sisters sleeping, a picture of his mother in a grocery store, a picture of those three walking in a dark hallway. "I wonder what Bokuto would say... if his family went missing, just because of you."

  


"..."

  


"Can you be able to withstand the pressure, my dear son?"

  


"..."

  


"Can you even look at Bokuto's face after that?"

  


"..."

  


"Or... are you going to watch Bokuto yell at you, blaming you for everything?"

  


"..."

  


"Either way, I'm fine with it. After all, even if you run away, I could just call someone to talk to Bokuto's family and keep them until you show yourself up again."

  


"..."

  


"What will you choose, Keiji?"

  


"..."

  


" _Happiness,_ or _perfection?_ "

  


"..."

  


  


Right now, Akaashi's head is blank. What he have feared all this time have come true. He doesn't know what to choose. He let his guard down, and now his father already had a weakness against him. But... reminiscing the moments that he shared with Bokuto in this house...

  


_"Hey, you there! Do you think Mr. Akaashi's son would like my baby pink Barney boxers?"_

__

__

"Hey, master... do you know that aside from a falling star, there is another way to make your wishes come true? They say, that if you could see a thousand stars on the sky, you could wish for anything you want. That's why, I'll wait with you here every night, so we could wait for the thousand stars!"

"Good morning, master!"

"I want to serve Akaashi forever!"

"I consider you as my soulmate— so don't give me to someone else."

"When you're lost, you follow your heart."

"Good morning, Akaashi!"

"Akaashi likes me back. What else could even hurt me?"

"Good morning, my ever-so-lovely baby!"

"If there's someone who made me happy, it would be you."

"No matter where you are, no matter how long, I will always be here, waiting for you."

_"Akaashi, don't even argue with me! I love you the most! Period! No erase! Lock!"_

  


_**Should I choose my own happiness, after all?**_

  


Yeah, right... Akaashi was alone all this time. But Bokuto was there to fill his empty world with light. He was lonely, but Bokuto made him happy. He was depressed, but Bokuto lifted him. Yeah, right... he could just think of a way to keep Bokuto from knowing about his family, so they could finally be happy...

  


_'I thought that maybe I should make myself rich, but I think I'm already happy with my house. I don't get lost there, and I could always see my mother and my sisters anywhere.'_

_  
_

_'They're loud, but they're nice. They give the best hugs too. They never let me feel alone at home. They love me very much, and I do too!'_

_  
_

_'My mom loves me very much.'_

  


Akaashi closed his eyes, tears threatening to fall down his cheeks. When he confessed to Bokuto, he knew then and there that he already lose. He already gave up on being perfect. He just wanted a peaceful life with Bokuto, grow old together with him 'til they couldn't walk anymore. But his surname acted like shackles, not letting him do whatever he want. He's miserable. Hopeless. Lonely. When Bokuto entered his life, all of his problems were sweeped away by his smile. His radiance. His presence.

  


As much as he wanted to be with Bokuto, he couldn't, but it's not just because of his surname.

  


He wanted to protect Bokuto's smile, no matter what. After all, Akaashi Keiji is an Akaashi, and an Akaashi is a perfect man.

  


"...what time is the flight?"

  


  


***

  


"And that's that. Tsukishima, arrange a helicopter and some papers for Keiji, He'll be leaving at sunrise tomorrow. If he escaped, tell the guards to prepare themselves to enter Keiji's room at any time."

  


"..."

  


"Tsukishima?"

  


"A-ah, sorry. Yes, I'll do that right away."

  


"What is it? Something in your mind?"

  


"It would be presumptuous of me to say it to you, _Akaashi-sama._ "

  


"Say it. You've been working here for quite some time, after all."

  


"I... I don't think you should treat Keiji-sama like that."

  


"Oh?"

  


"Keiji-sama is smart, and he's more capable than an eighteen-year old should be. From a secretary's point of view, once you resigned and Keiji-sama is the one who'll lead all of your properties, an arranged marriage is unnecessary."

  


"That's right."

  


"S-so, I think you should let Keiji-sama and Bokuto-san be tog—"

  


"But also, my son let down his guard. I hired Bokuto to make him experience happiness and love. Although Bokuto isn't aware of that himself, he still acted like how I would expect him to. I am once like Keiji when I was young. I know how he feels. But if he's going to be weakened by those things called emotions, then I don't think I am willing to give him my seat."

  


"Tsukishima, are you really asking this from a secretarial point of view? Or... is this stemmed from something _more personal?_ "

  


"..."

  


**"After all, _Kuroo Tetsurou_ fired you because he was arranged into one."**

  


***

  


  


Head empty, mind blank, Akaashi skipped lunch, heading straight to his room to do... nothing. Just stare at the ceiling endlessly, thinking nothing about the fact that everything— everything that he cherished— _from the garden to Bokuto_ —will be gone, in an instant, once tomorrow comes.

  


A heavy feeling arose from his chest. It felt like a dream. A nightmare. As his breathing goes shakier, he became more scared, more lonely, in such a large room.

  


After two years, Akaashi Keiji was once reminded— that he is an Akaashi, and an Akaashi needs to be a perfect man. A perfect man who had no flaws. A perfect man who'll perfectly accomplish any orders that were given to him. A perfect man... _what exactly is a perfect man?_

  


Akaashi dived onto his bed, his body curling up, writhing in agony as he cried quietly, silently sobbing all by himself. He felt helpless. Hopeless. Pathetic. He buried his face on one of his pillows— _it smelled like Bokuto_.

  


"Bokuto... Bokuto... Bokuto..." Akaashi sobbed, hugging the pillow as tight as he could, staining it with his tears that don't seem to end. "Bokuto... Bokuto... Bok—"

  


"Akaashi?" _Three knocks on the door. It was Bokuto_. Akaashi covered his mouth with his hand, muffling his sobs. "Hmm? I guess he's already asleep."

  


As the steps grew further away, Akaashi immediately walked towards the door, but not to open it— he just sat in front of it, his forehead pressed on the door, as he continues to wail. Louder this time.

  


"B-Boku— ack —to..." His words were almost incomprehensible as his sobs were much louder than his own voice. "Bokuto... Bokuto... Bokuto... K-K... Koutarou..."

  


He couldn't bear the pain anymore. The truth is here, but he couldn't just seem to accept it. He is hopeless. He couldn't imagine himself being able to smile once he left the house— no, once he left his _home_.

  


Hugging the pillow, Akaashi laid his back against the door, burying his face on it, humming a familiar song— his mother's lullaby. Trying to find comfort through the song's melody, trying to calm himself down, but the lyrics reminded him of Bokuto's own whimsical imagination, and it just tripled the pain for him— clutching his chest, out of breath, gasping, Akaashi sang with the weakest voice.

  


_"C-come... with me, and you'll b-be, in our world of p-pure imagination... T-take a look, and you'll s-see... into your imagination... We'll begin, with a s-spin, travelling... in the world of my c-creation. What we'll s-see, will defy, e-explanation..."_

  


He reminisced everything— how he sang it in front of Bokuto on their first night together in the garden, how Bokuto's head swayed along with the song, how the crickets sang with him, how Bokuto complimented him so much after he sang, how happy he felt when he managed to unleash his loneliness with someone else.

  


_Akaashi Keiji is an almost-perfect man— but he had one weakness, and it was Bokuto._

  


  


***

  


  


Hours and hours and hours of crying. Eyes swelled, nose stuffed, face messy. Akaashi was still sobbing, whimpering, crying. He lost track of time— but he couldn't care any less about it.

  


Out of strength, Akaashi crawled to the table to get his phone and check the time— 9:00 PM. He cried for more or less twelve hours straight, but the tears just couldn't seem to stop. During that time, Bokuto knocked on his door three times, but Akaashi didn't respond, and Bokuto just considered it as one of Akaashi's bad days.

  


The surrounding felt quiet— everybody is probably asleep. With that note in head, Akaashi stood up, using the wall as his support. Sobbing to the doorway, he opened the door, heading towards the kitchen to eat something.

  


His sight is blurry with all the tears, but as much as he could, he took his time, slowly taking each step, making sure that he memorized every single corner of his house before stepping forward. Finally, after an hour, he arrived at the dining table. He was expecting it to be clean because everyone was already gone, but he saw something at the corner of the table— _a plate of pancakes_.

  


Akaashi felt his heart being twisted as he grabbed the plate, immediately gobbling up the pancake. But then he felt something else on the table— a sticky note.

  


Akaashi's eyes were blurry and swollen, and he couldn't see very well. But when he saw the words written on the sticky note, his eyes widened. Every single word is written largely, although the penmanship is shaky- it was obvious that the writer of the note wants it to appear as pretty as possible. But that's not why Akaashi was surprised. The pink sticky note said...

  


_**_**DON'T TOUCH >:( BOKUTO PANCAKES** _ ** _ _**  
** _ _****_ARE ONLY FOR AKAASHI :)_ ** ** _

  


"...B-Bokuto..."

  


Akaashi's mind went blank as he started running somewhere, his feet aching every passing second, but he didn't seem to mind 'til he stops in front of a door. He pressed his ear onto the surface of the door, making sure that it is entirely quiet before he invites himself in.

  


There, he saw Bokuto, blanket and pillows on the floor, legs spread across the bed, slightly smiling as he drools on the carpet.

  


Akaashi slowly stepped in, gently touching Bokuto's face and lifting it, putting it on his lap. He stared at Bokuto's saliva now smeared on his palm— Akaashi smiled. "Even when you're asleep, you're the silliest."

  


He stayed silent, staring at Bokuto. His fingers were shaking, scared to wake the latter, as it landed on Bokuto's eyelids. Akaashi leaned over, burying his face on Bokuto's neck. The strong, musky smell brought him back to their first meeting when Bokuto and Akaashi stared at the garden together through Bokuto's window. Then, Akaashi reminisced their next encounter... and the next... and the next... and the next.

  


"B-Bokuto..." Akaashi whispered, his tears started rolling down his cheeks once again. His eyes are swollen, and it hurts for him to cry even more, but seeing Bokuto's peaceful face up close, as if he didn't have any problems. Bokuto is Akaashi's star- something so pretty, so bright, but that something is the only thing that he couldn't seem to get.

  


"I-I'm... sorry..." Akaashi whispered, thumb brushing onto the sleeping's eyelids. "I'm sorry... I hope you'll forgive me... I'm so sorry..."

  


But Bokuto didn't respond- which made Akaashi felt a little grateful. If Bokuto would see him like this, he doubts that he could go. Just by hugging Bokuto when he was asleep... that was the best that he could ever think of.

  


Akaashi forced a timid smile by slightly raising the corners of his lips, bobbing his head up to look at Bokuto. Akaashi ran his hands through Bokuto's hair, as his thumb brush over Bokuto's high-arched eyebrows.

  


"W-w... When you first went here, I thought... I thought you were dumb..." Akaashi breathed out a weak laugh. "You wanted to show me the baby pink Barney underwear so bad- it was ridiculous."

  


"You told me that if I wish under the thousand stars, it'll get true... b-but... but can the stars even grant me my wish, if my wish is to _grow old with you_?"

  


  


"I'm sorry, B-Bokuto... for dragging you into this..." From a soft-spoken voice, Akaashi's voice went almost inaudible, to the point that only Bokuto could hear his whispers. He was embracing Bokuto so close to him, pressing his lips on the latter's ears, caressing his hair. "I didn't mean to... All I wanted was to be happy... but maybe... maybe that was too selfish of me."

  


"I... I'll go away, so they would leave you alone..." Akaashi pressed his lips on Bokuto's forehead. "So even if I couldn't be happy, you could at least grow old with a smile on your face... like the true, happy person that you are. I..."

  


Akaashi fell silent, as he couldn't form the words out of his lips. He took one look at Bokuto's face again, holding his hand, feeling the warmth of Bokuto's large hand wrapping his slim fingers like a gift. He stared at Bokuto as if he was the most valuable piece in a high-class museum— the only piece of art that he could stare at for hours. Akaashi was so enamored, so in love with Bokuto, that he couldn't bring to say the next words, because he doesn't know what he would do if he spoke it out.

  


But he remembered that this is the last time that he'll ever saw him, so he swallowed back his hesitation, closed his eyes, as he held Bokuto's cheeks to face him.

  


" _I... I love you..._ " Akaashi cried as he presses his lips onto Bokuto's. "I love you, _so, so much_..."

  


  


And for the rest of the night, he didn't hold back. Hugging Bokuto as tight as he could, crying as loud as he could, holding Bokuto's hand as long as he could. He just sitting on Bokuto's bed the entire time, cradling the heavy-sleeper into his fragile arms. All his tears ended up on Bokuto's shoulders, not caring at least one bit about everything... just sitting there, crying his heart out. If there's something that he would want to do one last time, it was to hug him until it was his time to go— that's exactly what he did.

  


Feeling Bokuto's warmth for the entire night, Akaashi Keiji, the almost-perfect man, closed his eyes, hoping that tomorrow will never come.

  


  


The next morning, _Akaashi was gone_.

  


  


***

  


  


**Fifteen years later...**

  


"We finally got back home in Japan!" A woman in her mid-30's, holding a man's hand as she struts across the airport, shades covering her eyeliner as her eyes roamed around. "Since when did we leave Japan, honey? Fourteen years?"

  


"Fifteen." The man confirmed. He was at the same age as his wife, but his wrinkles are visible around his eyes and forehead, not to mention that his eyebags beneath those sharp eyes were more obvious than the rest of his features.

  


"Daddy! Will I see your house when you were younger?"

  


"Yeah, we'll live there from now on."

  


Aside from the couple, two more kids could be seen beside them— a girl in her pre-teen and a 7-year-old boy. But this story isn't about the kids, and it isn't about the wife either.

  


_It was about the butler and his master._

  


  


Akaashi pulled out the key, stopping the engine of their car in front of a huge gate. The kids went ahead, while he assisted his pregnant wife first.

  


"Did you tell your staff that you'll come home here today?"

  


"Didn't you remember? Father cut off all of my contacts with them as soon as we landed in Russia."

  


"Then, this is like a surprise—"

  


"Good morning, Ma'am, Sir. May I ask who you are?" _A familiar voice._ "I am not aware that someone will visit here today."

  


"Ah, I'm Akaashi Yume," The pregnant wife smiled. "My husband owns this house. Perhaps you know him?"

  


"Your husband? Don't you think you're mistaken, Ma'am?" A peal of obnoxious laughter— _very, very familiar to Akaashi_. "My master owns this house, but he's not married. He disappeared fifteen years ago, but still, we wouldn't let you claim this house like it's yours—"

  


"Bokuto, you idiot! What are you doing?"

  


_A very, very, very familiar name._

  


Akaashi couldn't move. His feet are glued on the floor, his back is facing the house. He felt a large lump on his throat- hearing that name brings back so many memories that he was overwhelmed.

  


"I'm so sorry, Ma'am! Akaashi-sama's secretary just sent me the notif- I'll help you with the luggage!"

  


"What do you mean, Konoha, this house is Keiji's!"

  


As soon as Akaashi's name surfaced from Bokuto's lips, Akaashi felt the warm liquid surfacing to the corner of his eyes. He was shaking. Trembling. On the verge of crying. In all these years that he felt isolated, alone, and distant, he finally heard it— the voice that he's been searching for, all this time.

  


"Exactly. Who else would shamelessly park their car inside the mansion?"

  


"... a thief?"

  


"You're already 36 but you're still so dumb!"

  


_Bokuto's voice._

  


"What does this mean?" Bokuto asked, looking back and forth between Akaashi's wife and Konoha. "Did somebody buy this house?"

  


"No," Konoha felt a lump on his throat. After Akaashi's order to keep their mouths shut, Bokuto isn't aware— even in the tiniest bit —about what happened. _Should I tell him about it now? But it was Akaashi-sama's last wish to us before he went to Russia... Then, who'll tell him? Am I really suitable for that kind of role?_ "Uhm... don't be shocked, oka-"

  


"Hello, Bokuto."

  


Bokuto's eyes widened— _a very, very familiar voice_.

  


Standing just ten steps in front of him, he saw a middle-aged man. His hair was all black with a few strands of white scattered all around his head— short and messy, a view that was once very familiar to Bokuto. The way that his sharp, grayish-blue eyes gaze into him like a dagger, the way that it hides behind his eyelids, the way that his lashes flutter on top of his lids— the same eyes that used to look at him lovingly back then.

  


Bokuto Koutarou is Akaashi Keiji's personal butler. Hired seventeen years ago, he made a clumsy but interesting impression on the heir, giving him a weird but colorful view of life. Bokuto wanted something interesting to happen in his life— so he met Akaashi. Akaashi wanted to heal the loneliness inside him— so he met Bokuto. They once wished for soulmates, and it was given to them— _but being soulmates is the farthest they can go_.

  


After all, Keiji is an Akaashi, and an Akaashi needs to be the _perfect man_.

  


Bokuto is aware of that fact. He is too aware that it hurts him. No matter who he is, no matter when, no matter when— even if fate wants them to be together, Akaashi's surname is stronger than any force in the world. But for Bokuto, he didn't care about the world.

  


"Welcome back..." Forcing a smile, Bokuto greeted the family. "... _master._ "

  


_**He just lost his entire world, right in front of him, right now.**_

  


  


Last night, Akaashi and Bokuto saw the symbol of their fated but unfortunate relationship— the thousand stars, each vary in different brilliance and size, illuminating the entire evening sky, waiting for their wishes.

  


_Akaashi Keiji is the heir of one of the most famous conglomerates in Japan._

_  
_

_Bokuto Koutarou is just a mere personal butler._

  


But despite the difference in their status, they both wished for the same thing: _to see their soulmate one last time, **before they let go**._

  


  


Akaashi's sobs went louder and louder every passing second. Confused, Akaashi's wife asked him who Bokuto is, and why is he crying out of nowhere, but Akaashi's throat was dry as he tightened his grip on his daughter's little hand. Akaashi felt the earth slammed down, burying him alive, as he saw nothing but the light reflecting off Bokuto's tears that fell on the ground.

  


The tears coated Bokuto's eyes as he watches Akaashi broke down in front of him. Weak. Fragile. Lonely. But no matter how much he wanted to hug the younger, squish him in his arms, tell him how much he missed him throughout the years, they couldn't. Because as soon as Bokuto laid his eyes on the sleek fingers that he used to hold, he saw something shining— _a wedding ring_.

  


Akaashi was a mess. He forgot about his wife, who was worried about him. He forgot about his kids, who were confused about why he was bawling in tears. He forgot about everything- where he was, how he was, who he was. He only saw one thing- he saw Bokuto, and all of the sudden, everything he did with Bokuto flashed into his mind like a film. _Bokuto's smiles. Bokuto's face. Bokuto's warmth. Bokuto's beauty. Bokuto's naïvity. Bokuto's bliss ignorance. Bokuto. Bokuto. Bokuto._

  


"...B-bokuto..."

  


Akaashi Keiji is a _perfect man_.

  


  


A perfect man, who almost had no flaws.

  


  


But as of this moment, the same perfect man that was adored by all whispered, " _P-please_... let me be imperfect, just for today."

  


  


His wife was in shock, switching glances between the two, confused about what's happening, why are they both bawling their hearts out, who is Bokuto to Akaashi— but she saw Akaashi's eyes. Forced into a marriage with him, even if they already had two children, Akaashi never broke his shell. He remained distant to her, _a mystery_ , someone who's just forced to do everything. All these years... the love never bloomed, and Yume always wondered why.

  


But she saw Akaashi's eyes, and she came to a conclusion: the love between them never bloomed, because Akaashi's love already bloomed with _someone else_.

  


But now, love or not, it is useless. Akaashi is married to her, eternally locked with her, with children. No matter how much he loved Bokuto, no matter how much they would want to hug each other right now, it is irrelevant. The wedding ring served as a collar to keep Akaashi away from Bokuto, and Yume isn't willing to let him go.

  


But she saw Akaashi's eyes, and she saw _pain_. _Seclusion. Suffering. Loneliness._

  


It was the first time that Akaashi showed any emotions aside from his neutral face. And out of all the faces he could make, he made the saddest face that Yume has ever seen. It was so sad, so grieving, so unfortunate, that Yume herself nodded, kneeling to wipe her husband's tears away, because _Bokuto isn't allowed to do that_.

  


"If you don't want me to report this to your father, fix yourself. The kids are watching."

  


Akaashi's hopeless eyes shot towards her, and in an instant, the glow on his eyes vanished. He wanted to hug Bokuto as tight as he could. He wanted to kiss Bokuto as long as he could. He wanted to tell Bokuto how much he loves him, and how sorry he was for abandoning him. But today, he realized once again— they were fated to meet each other, _but not to end up together_.

  


**Bokuto Koutarou is Akaashi Keiji's personal butler — and aside from that, they weren't allowed to take one step further.**

  


After he calmed down, Akaashi stood up, _like the perfect, responsible man that he is_. He teared up once again when he saw Bokuto, but it seems like the latter is thinking about the same thing. The both of them looked at each other, eyes teary, but it isn't the time for them to cry— all they could do is play along with the fate governed over them until they are locked up alone in their own rooms, and when that happened, they could cry all they want. Yell all they want. Blame the fucking fate as much as they want. They can do that, but not now. As of now, Bokuto Koutarou is Akaashi Keiji's personal butler— and a butler should be professional, no matter what.

  


"I..." Bokuto first spoke up. "... I apologize for the interruption. I-It... it seems like Konoha already took the luggage inside, so you could rest for this day in your room. I... I shall prepare the lunch for everyone..."

  


"Thank you," Yume answered, then she called their kids to go with them inside. She placed a hand on Akaashi's shoulder, tiptoeing to whisper: "Good job. _You did the right thing_."

  


Bokuto stepped aside as Akaashi's family pass by him, ignoring his presence. But when Akaashi is about to step inside, he heard Bokuto's faint voice.

  


" _... Akaashi._ "

  


He gulped— he already calmed down, but something inside him suddenly surged up once more. Gripping on his fist, he stopped, telling Yume and the kids to proceed. He kept his head lay low, as he stood in the middle of the lobby, while Bokuto watches him from the side. It feels so pathetic, so ridiculous, _so painful_...

  


Akaashi bit his lower lip, as the tears rolled down his cheeks once more. He wanted to tell him everything. From A to Z. From 1 to a million. He wanted to tell him how lonely it was, living with a family in Russia, away from him. He wanted to tell him how much he was yearning for Bokuto's big and warm hugs. He wanted to ask him to forgive him because Bokuto never deserved any of this pain. But in the end, only five words surfaced on his shaky lips, producing a soft sound, almost inaudible.

  


"S-sorry... for not telling... y-you..."

  


But out of all the responses that Akaashi expects, he heard a laugh. A feeble one. As if he is sick, and he's just being forced to laugh. It was the weakest laugh that he've ever heard from Bokuto. As he looks at him, the tears surfaced once again, but this time, he isn't making any sounds. The tears were silently falling as he stares at Bokuto, head empty, mind blank, nothing... just _nothing, but Bokuto_.

  


  


" _I told you, didn't I?_ " Bokuto smiled— the last, genuine smile that he'll ever show to Akaashi. " _... that I'll wait for you, no matter what._ "

  


That's when Akaashi Keiji thought... **_if there were a thousand stars right in front of us, I'll wish to feel your warmth again._**

  


  


_**fin.** _

  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! It took me three days to write it and another three all-nighters to edit it for Ao3. It was my very first work that hit ten thousand words, so any interactions would be highly, HIGHLY appreciated! Thank you so much for reading my work!
> 
> FB: Ryuuichi Aone  
> WP: @clamaranthine


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